1/10/11
Dear Jehovah God,
When I go, You will spread Your net over me; You will bring me down like the birds of the sky. You will chastise me in accordance with the proclamation to my assembly.
But it will come about, if I will not obey You my God to observe to do all Your commandments and Your statutes with which Moses charged me today, that all these curses have come upon me and overtaken me.
I am truly cursed. Nothing matters. Without You none of it matters. Without You it is all just empty words. I need You. I need Your commandments and Your statutes. I need Your ordinances. I need Your word to survive.
But if I do not obey You and do not carry out all these commandments, if, instead, I reject Your statutes, and if my soul abhors Your ordinances so as not to carry out all Your commandments, and so break Your covenant, You, in turn, will do this to me: You will appoint over me a sudden terror, consumption and fever that shall waste away the eyes and cause the soul to pine away; also, I shall sow my seed uselessly, for my enemies shall eat it up. And You will set Your face against me so that I shall be struck down before my enemies; and those who hate me shall rule over me, and I shall flee when no one is pursuing me.
If also after all these things, I do not obey you, then You will punish me seven times more for my sins. And You will also break down my pride of power; You will also make my sky like iron and my earth like bronze. And my strength shall be spent uselessly, for my land shall not yield its produce and the trees of the land shall not yield their fruit.
If then, I act with hostility against You and am unwilling to obey You, You will increase the plague on me seven times according to my sins. And You will let loose among me the beasts of the field, which shall bereave me of my children and destroy my cattle and reduce my number so that my roads lie deserted.
And if by these things I am not turned to You, but act with hostility against You, then You will act with hostility against me; and You, even You, will strike me seven times for my sins. You will also bring upon me a sword which will execute vengeance for the covenant; and when I gather together into my cities, You will send pestilence among me, so that I shall be delivered into enemy hands. When Your break my staff of bread, ten women will bake my bread in one oven, and they will bring back my bread in rationed amounts so that I will eat and not be satisfied.
Yet if in spite of this, I do not obey you, but act with hostility against You, then you will act with wrathful hostility against me; and You, even You, will punish me seven times for my sins. Further, I shall eat the flesh of my sons and the flesh of my daughters I shall eat. You then will destroy my high places, and cut down my incense altars, and heap my remains on the remains of my idols; for Your soul shall abhor me. You will lay waste my cities as well, and will make my sanctuaries desolate; and You will not smell my soothing aromas. And You will make the land desolate so that my enemies who settle in it shall be appalled over it. Me, however, You will scatter among the nations and will draw out a sword after me, as my land becomes desolate and my cities become waste.
Then the land will enjoy its Sabbaths all the days of the desolation, while I am in my enemies’ land; then the land will rest and enjoy its Sabbaths. All the days of its desolation it will observe the rest which it did not observe on my Sabbaths. All the days of its desolation it will observe the rest which it did not observe on my Sabbaths. While I was living on it. As for those of me who may be left, You will also bring weakness into their hearts in the lands of their enemies. And the sound of a driven leaf will chase them and even when no one is pursuing, they will flee as though from the sword, and they will fall. They will therefore stumble over each other as if running from the sword, although no one is pursuing; and I will have no strength to stand up before my enemies. But I will perish among the nations, and my enemies’ land will consume me. So those of us who may be left will rot away because of our iniquity in the lands of our enemies; and also because of the iniquities of our forefathers we will rot away with them.
If we confess our iniquity and the iniquity of our forefathers, in our unfaithfulness which they committed against You, and also in our acting with hostility against You-You also were acting with hostility against us, to bring us into the land of our enemies-or if our uncircumcised heart becomes humbled so that we then make amends for our iniquity, then You will remember Your covenant with Jacob, and You will remember also Your covenant with Isaac, and Your covenant with Abraham as well, and You will remember the land. For the land shall be abandoned by us, and shall make up for its Sabbaths while it is made desolate without us. We, meanwhile, shall be making amends for our iniquity, because we rejected Your ordinances and our soul abhorred Your statutes.
And it shall come about that just as all the good words which Jehovah my God spoke to me have come upon me, so Jehovah will bring upon me all the threats, until You have destroyed me from off this good land which Jehovah my God has given me.
Please put all these threats upon my heart so that I do what You expect of me. Make me fear You and revere You.
Indeed, all Israel has transgressed Your law and turned aside, not obeying Your voice; so, the curse has been poured out of us, along with the oath which is written in the law of Moses the servant of God, for we have sinned against You.
Please do not let me sin against You. Teach me how not to sin. I am here. I am right here. And I am still making stuff up. I am still dreaming up stories that are not real. I am right here! Please do not ignore me. Amen, Amen, and Amen.